| 11/7/2008 9:03:37 AM From: RegretfulHalo Mine: Desperately seeking someone who screws like nothing matters and stays awake long enough to go f'ing home. |  |
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11/7/2008 9:07:12 AM From: Jez italian, twice divorced, looking for #3!
i love to have fun! and i'm a total optimist. sure, i might feel shitty when i first wake up in that ditch covered in vomit, but then i'll remember i'm not dead and instantly feel okay about myself again. |  |
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11/7/2008 9:08:15 AM From: Ali Me: Mean, nasty, loud, mouthy woman seeking love
I'm a lovely 415 lb white female with green eyes and a vampiric smile. I enjoy long sits on the couch, macramie and verbally assaulting innocent people for absolutely NO reason whatsoever.
How to win my heart? - Don't hunt polar bears or wolves from airplanes, have the ability to READ and be willing to feed me beer, brownies and Hostess twinkies by the shovelfull as I lounge seductively on my chaise.
Hurry - an offer this good won't last on the market for long! |  |
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| 11/7/2008 9:15:07 AM From: MrsK I enjoy long naked walks on the beach in devotion to the Goddess. At night my fangs are exposed but don't worry, the bark is worse. At the full moon I tend to howl, wanna compete to see if you can me howl louder? By day I wear a hijab to maintain my innocent appearance. Where are you love of my life? Bars and handcuffs don't scare me. Don't be shy! |  |
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11/7/2008 9:16:41 AM From: Ali Eddo: Gilligan seeks Mary Ann
I'm a white Christian male with a good job, house and insatiable lust for burritos. I'm looking for a sweet Christian lady who knows what a fruit pizza is and lives in a warm climate, preferably with a bedroom window that faces a sheltered patio space and has a comfortable lounging chair within 10 feet of said window.
So give me a call and we can schedule our fist date! Hey, free meal. | |
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11/7/2008 9:24:10 AM From: Ali BCAR: Grouchy old Skipper wants to be left the hell alone
I drive a Dodge, I hunt, I drink, I smoke, I don't give a shit. You can use my jacuzzi tub, but you better clean it up afterwards. I hate liberal views, kids on my lawn, stupidity, laziness and needless handouts. Get a job!!!!
Ali's, tree huggers and minorities need not apply.
If you are a stripper named Candy with no self-respect and have your own transportation so you don't have to spend the night, you may be considered for the position. | |
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| 11/7/2008 9:25:32 AM From: Ali Hugo: ..... | |
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11/7/2008 9:25:40 AM From: eddo Brad Pitt clone looking for love!
Offers: Livelong devotion; garbage removal services; complete openess to be sexually trained any way you see fit (Ladies only please); at least one Free Meal!
Seeks: Ability to cook carne asada; make a fruit pizza; and no testicles (now or ever, please.) Alyssa Milano look-a-likes a definite plus!
Turnons: NASCAR; ladies in coveralls; mutual dislike of Oprah; Naked Wednesday.
Turnoffs: Lack of ability to breathe on your own; bedroom curtains; irresponsible vagina; chewed on dildo's a definite negative!
Call 1-800-hot-eddo today!
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11/7/2008 9:25:53 AM From: mercury ^^^ or several, if you bring the viagra  |  |
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| 11/7/2008 9:26:09 AM From: mercury shit... that was supposed to go after B's | |
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| 11/7/2008 9:26:51 AM From: eddo lmao @ Ali!!! | |
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| 11/7/2008 9:27:09 AM From: eddo Hugo: Seeking love that won't kick me out when we disagree. | |
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| 11/7/2008 9:28:04 AM From: eddo Want tits?? Call timesjoke today! | |
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| 11/7/2008 9:49:11 AM From: timesjoke I am always on the lookout for the next ex mrs. timesjoke. |  |
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11/7/2008 11:21:52 AM From: Ali Hmmmm, he takes out the garbage?????
*scribbles down eddo's number* | |
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11/7/2008 11:29:25 AM From: Ali Mercury: Keep your distance
Looking for a man who won't cheat, won't touch my weed, has enough room in his home for a sweet art studio (loft space preferred) and won't bug me while I'm working on my crafts.
Must like kids and crazy family members. | |
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11/7/2008 11:36:59 AM From: Ali Jez: Intoxicating
You don't deserve me, but you can try.
My brilliance and unrivaled sexual potency will be your undoing.
Call me...if you dare. | |
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| 11/7/2008 12:24:32 PM From: Emi Hugo: Unsheered cutie wanted. |  |
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11/7/2008 12:25:56 PM From: Emi Me: Cat lover looking for guy willing to purr for me. Cat ears are a must.
Oh shit, I'm a furry! *cry* | |
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11/7/2008 12:58:27 PM From: eddo 10 points to TJ for the Jurassic Park reference. Bonus 5 points for it being relevant since Crichton just passed away.  | |
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| 11/7/2008 1:00:35 PM From: mercury he gets custody of the crazy family members... they're all his :P | |
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11/7/2008 3:49:41 PM From: Rani Me~ looking for a man I can bash all day long.
Willing to shut up and let me harp, with the occassional Yes Ma'am you are right.
He must think I am the only authority on any given subject.
And understand under no circumstance will I give him the freedom of Speech.
If he brings any nooses near me I will deck him.
I am sweet, charming, and easy to get along with, honest!
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| 11/7/2008 4:02:48 PM From: Feckless Wench Me: Slave required, must be subservient and available at all hours to wait on me as is my right. |  |
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| 11/7/2008 5:35:34 PM From: Hack Me--wanted... good woman who loves fishing, must have a boat and motor, please send picture of boat and motor |  |
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| 11/7/2008 9:24:42 PM From: MrsK Ali - WANTED Species of the Male Gender. Must be able to drink Chamagne from a Croc. | |
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